Empty Seat

Empty Seat

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Do you have someone missing from your Thanksgiving table this year? 

The holidays can be such a joyous time of celebrating. It’s a time to gather with family and friends and make new memories.  But, if you lost someone special to you, it can be difficult.  I remember the first Thanksgiving without my daddy back in 2001. My mom, sister, young niece, and I  walked through our new normal the best we could. It didn’t feel right to even celebrate.  How could we? Daddy wasn’t here. 

My niece was only 6 and we were determined, if only for her sake, to prepare a traditional Thanksgiving meal.  

I privately cried as I peeled the potatoes. It was the job my daddy had given me every year since I was a little girl. I missed having him stand over me to make sure I didn’t hurt myself.

My sister teared up as she organized which sides were gonna go in what dishes.  Daddy would have appreciated that type of planning.

Mom lost it when she set the table with her special China and silverware. One fewer place to set. One huge hole in our heart.

It was a quiet day as we all dealt with the emptiness in our way. 

As we got closer to all of the food being ready, I somehow dropped an entire glass bottle of soy sauce in the kitchen. It went everywhere! Like little girls again, my sister and I frantically tried to clean the mess before mom came in. As she turned the corner into the kitchen, her shocked turned into laughter. We joined in and couldn’t stop. We laughed until we literally cried.  Our tears were the result of the brokenness we felt. We cried until we had no more tears left. 

We needed to laugh. We needed to cry. We needed to know that we were not alone…that the pain and emptiness was real and we were each feeling it.

If you are feeling that pit in your stomach this holiday…missing someone you love…you are not alone. The ache can feel so isolating.  God is at work even in the midst of your pain. He is the one that will hold you up when you can no longer stand.  I’ve watched Him do it. If you are adjusting to a new normal or are revisiting grief this year, He has hope and peace for your heart. 

Grieve and mourn the way your heart needs to. But trust He hasn’t left you on your own. 

It would be an honor for me to pray for you and to be the friend that reminds you today that you are loved. 

15 thoughts on “Empty Seat”

  2. This will be my second without my sweet girl. I have cried for a week leading up to now. I have to hide my pain because i know my grief impacts everyone around me. They too are struggling. I created an empty chair lantern for my Christmas decorations. Im not all done with it, I will post a photo. Thank you for sharing. So many suffer silently. The holidays lead to extreme depression and bad thought. Talking/writing about it helps them see they are not alone!

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  3. I lost my mom in August and my dad in 1990. Miss them both dearly. Went to the cemetary this past weekend and put poinsettias on their graves.

    Tyler, thank you for sharing your beautiful words.

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  4. Missing my dad. This is my 5th Thanksgiving without him. I called the radio station and spoke to you on my first Father’s Day without him. You were so sweet and could totally understand what I was feeling. Thank you, Tyler for being sensitive to these times. You are an amazing encourager.

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  5. My first Thanksgiving without my older brother. He passed away in Feb unexpectedly. He was the light and laughter of our family. His love for God was extraordinary! When I was lost in the bitterness of divorce, he directed me to God and forgiveness. I took comfort knowing that he was surrounded by family members gone before him, but most importantly that he is with our Father God in heaven.

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  7. This helps so much to read your post and everyone’s comments. I agree with the statement about silent suffering and this community is such a wonderful place of relieving honesty. I miss my son’s twin that we lost two years ago on thanksgiving. The boys were born at 6:30am the morning after thanksgiving. One lived and the other died immediately at birth because of under developed lungs. What’s harder is that we spend the holiday with my in-laws and my husband’s brother and wife had twins born within a week of our due date. It’s an acute reminder of my missing child. God is good, I know He is, but the pain is very real in this broken place before Heaven. I love you, sisters in Christ.

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    1. You are so loved. Your openness is so beautiful. God will continue to use you and your boy for His glory on this side of heaven. I’m grateful to be friends. 💗⚓️

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  8. Oh baby , you remember so well. It was so very difficult for all of Us . Thank you very much to our Dear God. May Our Dear God blessings continue blessings our sweet family 🙏🙏🙏

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